23_Ubuntu & fifteen minutes with a DSW worker
A written piece about consciousness, judgement & Ronnie
I hate the word ubuntu almost as much as I hate the word Christian and church.
There are too many conflicting ideas in them for me. And those ideas seem to bang into each other in my mind and stand on proverbial toes so I genuinely feel panicky. What I hear then when a white person like me says ubuntu is something flimsy and found between solidarity and a smile. Fluffy stuff like: ubuntu is helping each other, and being hospitable or friendly. Then the cynic in me can almost hear shosholoza being sung in the background so my brain tunes out. It just seems too cheap to be true.
As I have listened and mediated on ubuntu I think I am beginning to see that it is actually a heightened state of human consciousness. A terrifying, terrifying idealogy that how we think of and therefore behave to everyone around us really affects our serotonin levels, verges and nation. It’s this ethereal, intangible understanding that what I am as an individual (read my happiness, wellness, and well-being) is because of my thinking and understanding of others and together we are a collective product of our shared beliefs about each other.
Child-likeness I find the hardest part about my faith. Like ubuntu it flies in the face of my western, individualistic worldview. Simple ideas like “do not judge” I somehow struggle to practice way more than complex truths we love to preach about in our churches. But the problem is thrity years after finding a God I a thousand percent believe made the expanding cosmos and will raise me back to life one day after I die (which is its own minor form of insanity/faith), I still judge today. All the time (see it above).
As a child born in 1982 my mind is deeply scared with prejudice and racism that if I allow it still continues to ask me dark and damaging questions in the safety of my mind. According to the philosophy of ubuntu that darkness damages not just me, but those around me, and even my society (which I know we know but do we truly know inside our hearts what I mean?).
Last week I wrote about DSW. This week I spent fifteen minutes with Ronnie, a part-time contractor who for five days a week over the last nine years has cleaned the streets around my home.
Thankfully I didn’t spend time with Ronnie because I wanted a piece or to be like Humans of New York. I did it because I want to feel. I am because Ronnie is. My life, my verge, and my wallet are tied to Ronnie. And my neighbor’s life is tied to me and so back to Ronnie and our taxes together pay some of the R800 that has to feed a hundred thousand two children homes five kilometers away from me in Cato Manor and Ronnie’s contract fee as well. We are because of each other even if sometimes we like to think otherwise and so from the depth of my being I want redemption from a low view of those around me so I can help myself.
Here’s my record of a conversation shared with Ronnie:
“I was sixteen and sitting at a boxing match. I liked the way the announcer made the name Ronnie sound so I adopted that name for myself.
“I’ve been married to my wife for seventeen years. We’ve lived together all that time. She works for Prestige. We hold each other every day. My father died when I was two so I grew up rough. Moved to Mayville in 1994 when it was just bush. It was better than it is now. My son’s teachers were my teachers. That makes me happy; that my masters are their masters too. I did the crime. Not a bad crime. I was influenced by my friends and we smoke pellets through glass bottle tops. For nine years now I have been casual with DSW. Five days a week we earn one hundred and eighty Rand a day.
In 2002 I started to change my life. We have two boys. When the first was one hour old I made a vow to myself that they would live different lives from the one I did. So I have raised my kids very well, I’ve raised them to take responsibility for their family, security, providing, and hospitality. All those things. I have had to learn how to be a father from outsiders. I don’t want that for them. So now I go to school every day to make sure they are on top of their work. I love them with all my heart (starts crying). They are my everything.”
Ps. I write for change (and because 20% of the time it is fun) and it’s easy to see that we need a bit of that now. So join the crusade? Change your verge with me. And if this email helped you do it share it with some friends. History shows hiding (or complaining) never really served anyone in the long run so together today let’s take tiny, daily steps towards creating spaces we all want to live in long term together.